It seems that anyone who expresses concerns about the Covid-19 vaccine instantly gets dubbed an “anti-vaxxer,” so let me start by saying I am not anti any of these vaccines. I am, however, reluctant to get one myself because I still have doubts and until those have been eliminated, I would simply prefer to wait. This attitude has been met with disapproval from family, friends and acquaintances, many of whom claim each of us has a moral obligation to get vaccinated and that it’s “selfish” to refuse. When I hear this, I tend to become overly emotional and struggle to…


Are we all fucked up, or is our pain just desperate to be seen?
Like a child pleading for his mother’s attention, while her eyes remain glued to a screen.
In a world that dictates that we answer “fine” when asked how we are doing, each and every time,
And when we finally have the courage to talk about this pain, we’re met with expressions of discomfort and disdain,
Is it in any way surprising that our moods are plummeting and anxiety is rising?

Our pain makes sense; these “problems” are simply mechanisms of defense.
Yet as they witness our suffering…


It goes without saying that this year has been a bit of a shitshow. I have experienced every emotion on the emotional spectrum (sometimes over the course of just one day), have become accustomed to that jittery feeling that comes with realising just how powerless I am, and the way my heart sinks each time new restrictions are announced and plans are cancelled. …


Since joining Alcoholics Anonymous back in 2015, I have often marvelled at how its 12 steps have transformed the lives of many desperate, seemingly hopeless individuals. Time and time again I find myself thinking how much everyone could benefit from carrying out these steps, alcoholic or otherwise, and, since we are now facing a global crisis, there seems to be no better time than this to spread the word.

This lockdown has been a bit like a period of enforced spirituality, a time to retreat (I prefer that word to ‘isolate’) and reflect on our actions and behaviour. It has…


It may be less of a taboo topic these days, but the menopause still has a stigma attached to it; women feel that it’s an ending, something to be ashamed of, to resign themselves to — but why? Having spoken to friends and family members in the midst of the menopause, it became apparent that there are many things we women aren’t aware of when reaching this pivotal point in our lives, as we simply don’t talk about it enough. …


I wouldn’t exactly say I was sober from the minute I put down the drink and drugs. Looking back to my first few months in recovery, I find myself cringing at some of the things I believed and the ways in which I behaved, such as coming on to a recently divorced man in his early fifties with twin daughters, depression and alcoholism, convinced that he was “the one”. Since my last drink back in May 2015,* the journey of recovery has not been a smooth one, but I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would. Every obstacle life…


“New year, new you” — four words that simultaneously fill me with hope and dread. It’s easy enough to be optimistic at the start of January, when you’ve got the whole year ahead of you and you’re brimming with energy and excited determination, yet realistically, who maintains their New Year’s resolutions past the end of the month (assuming they get that far)?

As someone who began 2019 single, unemployed and utterly confused about which career path to take, it would have been easy to spiral into self-pity and waste my time coveting the lives my friends had carved out for…


One evening two summers ago, I was out having a drink with the guy I was dating at the time. One drink turned into several, followed by dinner and a stroll around the neighbourhood. I was really enjoying myself until he announced he had to find a chemist. When I asked why, his response was: “To buy condoms of course!” We had been seeing each other for a couple of months and had had sex several times, but all of a sudden, I felt like I didn’t have a choice; he had it in his mind that we were going…


This time almost exactly three years ago, I went to work as a live-in nanny/teacher for the children of a diplomat. Being in a country where, at the time, I had no friends and did not speak the language may have been difficult, but it was living in such a chaotic, highly dysfunctional household that almost tipped me over the edge. Fortunately, however, it didn’t, because I chose to spew all my frustration on to the pages of a journal instead.

I recently rediscovered the diary I kept and thought it would be interesting to reread it. Looking back on…


You may have heard the terms ‘sober rave,’ ‘clean party’ or ‘conscious club night’ thrown around, however the phenomenon that is conscious clubbing has been slow to take off in the UK, or at least outside of London and the big cities.

After putting down the drink and drugs two and a half years ago, I longed to find a place I could let go and flail my limbs in an environment where drugs and alcohol weren’t rife — it’s not that I felt I was putting myself in danger by being exposed to these things, but I did notice…

Milly D

Young female in recovery with a thirst for life — Writes about addiction, self-development and conscious living — Featured in Cosmopolitan UK and Glamour UK.

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